With my upcoming international travel, we could not afford to delay in revealing to my family our baby news. The last thing I wanted was for something to happen while travelling and they find out through shock and worry. So with only an afternoon on our hands, David and I watched/researched baby reveals to see what we could come up with in the little time we had. We discussed whether we would share the gender, having only found out for ourselves that Friday morning, how we would reveal it and when exactly to do it. For the whole week leading up to this, David and I did not share our news with anyone. We braved through the appointments, conversations and decisions on our own and while we did our best to support one another, understandably we were falling apart in our own ways. Once our internal acceptance of our new future set in, we were more than ready to seek our families support and understanding.
Fortunately, it was David's birthday that weekend so excuses to get together with our families were easily made in advance. I remember asking my mother if they were busy that weekend and if we could come by to hang out under the guise that it was David's birthday and that we won't be able to hang out as a whole family for a few weeks due to our trip. Her response showed clear signs of suspicion but she agreed thankfully. We had planned brunch with my parents and dinner with his. Step 1 done. How to reveal was a more challenging step. We reflected back on Christmas gifts and if we had only known then, how much easier it would be to give something or share something to surprise our families then. We contemplated having me wear a DIY'd shirt that casually revealed it to see who would clue in first. In the end, we decided on something simple - cards that suggested a 'promotion' in their futures and a copy of the ultrasound to help bring some visual/tangible reality.
While it was not openly talked about previously, it wouldn't surprise me to think that our families had hoped for baby news as part of our relationship's future. But the prospect of sharing this sudden news terrified me as I didn't know what their real reactions would be now that it had come true. Would any worries or shock they had overshadow their joy? Would they experience the same emotional ups and downs we had only begun to go through ourselves in the past few days? Would there be any lingering disappointment in our lack of 'planning'? I so desperately wanted the news of the baby to be embraced with love and joy but didn't dare assume it as I had barely been able to do it myself when the news hit me. I went to bed Friday night fretting in anticipation of the long emotional day ahead.
My Family
Saturday morning as we left the house, I took a deep breath and prayed internally that all would go well. First was brunch with my family. We had decided to go to dim sum - one of my fav meals! Conversation was normal and mostly featured talk about our upcoming family trip to Israel. Since it was our first time being out and in good spirits that week as a couple, we were able to relax a bit more and tried to enjoy time with family.
As we sat and ate, David and I both noticed children and families around us and relayed looks to each other to suggest where to direct our vision to make note of them. There's nothing like news that you're pregnant to suddenly awaken your perspective to the realization of how many babies and toddlers there are around you on an every day basis. It's as though I've completely ignored a whole section of society because they hadn't previously applied to my life and now I couldn't stop seeing them everywhere.
The conversation at brunch included talk about upcoming trips and plans my parents/family had in the year to come and even in the years ahead. Things like how exciting it would be to go to Disney World soon or what we might be doing for Christmas this year. David squeezed my hand each time as we listened knowing that we were in on a secret that potentially changed all that. It took all my mental strength not to just blurt out our news right then and there.
I remember looking at my family's faces and doing my best to absorb this moment because I knew the news would forever change our family. I was growing our next family member. Inside, I could feel our baby girl kicking, wanting to say hi on her own, eager to let the secret out.
After breakfast, I insisted (as casually as one could) that we go home to relax and hang out as a family. We had planned all along that we would reveal the news in the comfort and privacy of my parents home to give an opportunity to chat. We got home before my parents and I tried as discreetly as possible to set up the camera in a position where we could record their reactions later. My parents arrived shortly after with a cake for David so we focused on that first. Once that was all set aside, we moved over to the family room so that we could sit down and reveal our news.
Their reactions can be seen in the video below. Thanks dad for moving the box at the beginning, you helped clear the shot for me without even knowing it! (also note the casualness of his whistling... what a few seconds will do to change the mood lol)
It was an emotional moment for us all and I'm glad that I didn't back down on the idea of capturing it. To be honest, I have a hard time watching it without shedding tears all over again. It was such a relief to finally share with someone else the news, to finally ask for support at the end of one of the hardest weeks in our relationship. The full video is quite long and our actual conversation was even longer. I shared with them our timeline on finding out and the medical notes that go along with our conception story. My parents shared their own experiences with their relationship, life before children and the struggles once they had my sister and I. Shock was certainly present but there was lots of joy too. My sister was giddy with the idea of being an aunt and kept hugging me. I learned new things about my family/my parents that I had been unaware of previously so overall, it was a great bonding moment for the family. We stayed for a few hours before mentionning that we needed to go off to the next family to do the process all over again. I remember getting into the car and breathing relief to David that we were now 50% done with annoucements abut already 1000% emotionally uplifted.
David's Family
Since we had told my family already, it only made sense that David's family find out that same day as well. With a similar card to give to his parents, we tried to go over to the house early. David was, of course, more nervous for this reveal than with my family but knew all along that it would go well.
We knew that once we shared the news, it would dominate the conversation for most of the evening. At the same time, we didn't want to leave it to the end as we suspected that they too, would have questions or perhaps concerns that they wanted to initially share with us. So we decided that we would check in with everyone and give them a chance to share what was going on in their lives. Once again, I did my best to hide the camera to the side to capture whatever reactions I could.
Video (mostly in French) seen below - thankfully no one paid any attention to the camera. Similar to my parents, it was confusing to them at first why were giving them a card when it was David's birthday, but that quickly no longer mattered. How his sister managed to deduce it so quickly was beyond David's and my understanding.
Their responses were equally heartwarming and loving. Once again, the video itself is long and the whole evening was spent chatting about it at different points in time. Our timeline and conception story was shared as well to keep them just as much in the loop.
Both families also found out that we were having a girl, though I omitted it from the video to keep them brief. My one regret was not taking any pictures during the actual reveal as I was much more wrapped in the moment (as it should be according to David) so again, I'm grateful that I caught what I could on camera anyways.
The rest of the evening was spent together as a family over a delicious meal. We had a chance to call his grandmother and share the news directly with her as well, which I know made David very happy to do. I think we ended the night a little early as we had been exhausted by our day. The drive home felt relieving. I shed some more tears as I became overwhelmed by the events of the entire week flooding my mind. But I was happy that we were taking the next steps in our pregnancy journey.