Our darling baby,
As I write this I am still in shock of your existence. I keep wondering if I'm dreaming of myself in another world. While we didn't pick the timing of you coming into our lives, you certainly picked us as your parents months before. You are our miracle baby, beating all the odds that we put before you. For whatever reason, God decided to bless us with your life...to push us towards the path of parenting. You seem to have faith in us so we shall find it in ourselves too as we work to welcome you to our world.
It has been a hard few days as we quickly face the reality of your pending arrival. I touch my belly to remind myself that you are inside there, growing and waiting to make your debut. Out here, we are scared and uncertain but mostly, we want to do right by you. We want to be all we can be before you meet us so we can make you proud as your parents. You have pushed us to face fears we only quietly shared in brief passings, to make decisions we never knew we could make before today and given us strength throughout the whole process.
We first met you a few days ago. In the haze of our shock, we saw your little body on the sonogram in the ultrasound room. The tech kept telling me that you were asleep and needed to wake you up so she could see you. She let us listen to your strong heartbeat and showed us your precious body parts - hands, feet, spine, head. You became very real to us in the moment. A little being had formed without our knowledge and yet there you were, as healthy as could be expected. We cried in the car, uncertain about the future.
It has been a few days later and today we choose to keep you, to fully embrace your life. Today we fully accept the life and responsibilities of parenting you. We vow to care and love for you, perhaps even more than we do for ourselves. We acknowledge the sacrifices ahead and move forward no matter what to do all that we can for you. You deserve a full and happy life. We have created wonderful memories for our lives and now we will get to share them with you in creating many more. You will show us how to see the world in a whole different way. We will find gratitude in the opportunity you have given us.
I'm not sure I know how to protect you or how to best help you when I still struggle to do that every day for myself but I will make each choice more thoughtfully than I ever would have before you came into my life. I'm sorry I didn't listen more closely to the signs you shared with my body to let me know you were here sooner but I am listening now... and I will make our last few months together in this state the best it can be. I will make your temporary home safe, nurturing and loving so please grow to be strong and healthy. It isn't easy out here - we will hold your hand when we can but hope that you too will be ready to face this world.
My biggest comfort through this challenging time is knowing that if there was ever a person to share this journey with, it would be with your father. He is the most amazing person I know and he's excited for a future with you. He has a spirit of a child himself and so I know that the two of you will find many ways to bond and love each other. He will teach you to question things and be curious about the world. He will teach you strength, understanding and positivity. He has a big heart and a caring soul. I'm sure you will laugh just as loud and boisterously as he does and he will show you fun and awesome things. At the same time, he will comfort and protect you the way that he does for me today when times are tough. I know he will always be there for both of us. You are so lucky to have him.
We're bound to make mistakes as your parents so I hope you learn patience, understanding and forgiveness first and foremost. We will always do what's best for you. We come from good families who taught us the same values that we shall pass on to you. Their love will also strengthen your appreciation for family and community. They will share their stories on how they've learned/tried to become good people along the way in their lives - wisdom that has been and will become handy for our family too. There will be a multitude of people who will support us in caring for your life, who will watch over you just as we do.
I have thought about you and dreamt about you and worried about you long before you ever existed. I was never really sure if I would get to meet you as I didn't know if I had the strength to create you and yet here you are, our little baby. Being your mother will be the most important responsibility I will have in my life and I'm not sure why you choose me but I will do my best for you. You are so loved and always will be.
We can't wait to meet you in person.